Another
brick in the wall
We live
in a world of walls, real and imagined. I remember the day when I first
started building my wall. I was seven years old, my mother had bought
me a BB gun and we were at my grandfather's house in the country. There
was a fence in the back yard and I could see the neighbour's house and
it's shiny electrical meter through the trees and bushes. I was seven,
what did I know, it seemed like a great target to me. The neighbours,
unbeknownst to me, were sitting on their patio having lunch. I started
shooting at the meter, not knowing the BB's were ricocheting off the
house and onto the patio, grinning like a fool when I heard the ping
of a BB hitting the metallic meter. Soon there were angry shouts and
I ran and hid. My parents found me and I guess my father wanted to teach
me some kind of lesson. He took the BB gun and leaned it up against
a tree stump, went and got an axe and handed it to me. He then told
me to break the gun with the axe. Panic overwhelmed me, I had only shot
4 or 5 shots with my new BB gun, I looked at mom but she just shrugged
her shoulders. I started to cry, lifted the axe and broke it. It broke
my little seven year old heart, I started to build my wall.
When I
look at people these days I try to see how high their walls have become.
When you put a name to it, it's so much easier to notice. I've noticed
that a lot of teenagers these days have fully built walls, some even
have firewalls, it makes me sad.
Some people's
walls are impenetrable while others are crumbling, some are deconstructing,
some are ornate. When somebody's wall crumbles in a moment of emotional
weakness, anger, grief, drunkenness or occasionally joy, the first thing
they start to do is cry and sometimes sob uncontrollably. After which
the wall comes back even harder and taller and they are colder towards
you, embarassed by their moment of weakness, vulnerable because now,
you know. Strong friendships survive wall crumblings because they are
strong friendships.
Some people
don't seem to be very good at building walls. We call them innocents
and suckers. If they are lucky they find someone like them but most
often they just get taken advantage of, over and over again.
I like
to think that at the ripe old age of 51 that I can see the top of my
wall and every once in a while I manage to remove a brick and make that
wall a little less high and able to let a little more light shine in.
I am also grateful to the universe for placing me in a time and place
where I have the luxury to think about such things. There are many places
on this ironically beautiful planet where if you don't have a wall up
by the time you are ten, you will never see twenty. You don't call it
a wall, you just try to survive. I feel like my father at the dinner
table saying to eat all the food on your plate, there are children starving
in Africa. He was more right then he knew.